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a little bit of humour


BillGouge
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“The Story of the Woolybugger” by D. O. Norton

 

For years, the wife of an avid fisherman, put up with her fisherman husband’s abusive language and rotten attitude. One day, she decided to do something about it.

 

She visited the local pet shop and explained to the store owner that she was looking for some kind of animal that she could purchase that would teach her mean-spirited husband a lesson, and perhaps, a little humility. The store owner knew her husband and readily agreed.

 

The pet store owner thought about it for a few minutes and suggested that she visit his back room where he kept his more dangerous pets.

 

“This alligator would certainly teach him a thing or two”, he said as he pitched a chicken carcass into a large cage and a 14 foot alligator caught it in mid-air, splashing water in every direction for 10 feet.

 

“Or maybe this Florida panther would do the trick”, he said as they both backed away from the cage as the panther snarled and bared it’s teeth.

 

“No. I don’t think either of these animals would work”, the housewife muttered, careful not to get to close to either cage. “My husbands so tough and mean he’d make pussycats out of both of them. Don’t you have something a little meaner?”

 

“Well, I do have one more pet that might work”, he said, as he motioned to a small cage near the back of the room.

 

Inside was a hairy little ball of a creature, not much bigger than a basketball.

 

“What in the world is that” she exclaimed.

 

“That, ma’am, is a woolybugger”, the store owner replied. “Watch this”.

 

“Woolybugger the chair”, the man yelled in a deep but stern command.

 

Within seconds the chair was nothing but sawdust!

 

“Woolybugger the table” the man shouted, and again, within seconds the table was reduced to a pile of small pieces of wood and dust.

 

“My god” exclaimed the housewife. “He’s incredible! I’ll take him”.

 

Later that afternoon, her husband returned from an unsuccessful fishing trip in an uglier than usual mood.

 

“Where’s dinner” he shouted, as he dropped his fishing gear at the door and headed for the bedroom.

 

“What in the hell is this hairy lookin’ thing in the middle of my bed”, he bellowed in a fierce and threatening voice.

 

The wife, fully prepared for this question, answered in her sweetest voice ever, “That’s a woolybugger, dear”.

 

The husband, reaching across the bed to grab the little critter, shouted back his last few words…………

”Woolybugger My bum”…….

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