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BillGouge

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  1. “The Story of the Woolybugger” by D. O. Norton For years, the wife of an avid fisherman, put up with her fisherman husband’s abusive language and rotten attitude. One day, she decided to do something about it. She visited the local pet shop and explained to the store owner that she was looking for some kind of animal that she could purchase that would teach her mean-spirited husband a lesson, and perhaps, a little humility. The store owner knew her husband and readily agreed. The pet store owner thought about it for a few minutes and suggested that she visit his back room where he kept his more dangerous pets. “This alligator would certainly teach him a thing or two”, he said as he pitched a chicken carcass into a large cage and a 14 foot alligator caught it in mid-air, splashing water in every direction for 10 feet. “Or maybe this Florida panther would do the trick”, he said as they both backed away from the cage as the panther snarled and bared it’s teeth. “No. I don’t think either of these animals would work”, the housewife muttered, careful not to get to close to either cage. “My husbands so tough and mean he’d make pussycats out of both of them. Don’t you have something a little meaner?” “Well, I do have one more pet that might work”, he said, as he motioned to a small cage near the back of the room. Inside was a hairy little ball of a creature, not much bigger than a basketball. “What in the world is that” she exclaimed. “That, ma’am, is a woolybugger”, the store owner replied. “Watch this”. “Woolybugger the chair”, the man yelled in a deep but stern command. Within seconds the chair was nothing but sawdust! “Woolybugger the table” the man shouted, and again, within seconds the table was reduced to a pile of small pieces of wood and dust. “My god” exclaimed the housewife. “He’s incredible! I’ll take him”. Later that afternoon, her husband returned from an unsuccessful fishing trip in an uglier than usual mood. “Where’s dinner” he shouted, as he dropped his fishing gear at the door and headed for the bedroom. “What in the hell is this hairy lookin’ thing in the middle of my bed”, he bellowed in a fierce and threatening voice. The wife, fully prepared for this question, answered in her sweetest voice ever, “That’s a woolybugger, dear”. The husband, reaching across the bed to grab the little critter, shouted back his last few words………… ”Woolybugger My bum”…….
  2. Greeting and Happy Holidays! Just a brief note to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and to thank you for your letters of encouragement and support and for your interest in my flies and books, etc. in the past year. Without your interest and support I'd probably be back driving a cab instead of spending most of my time tying flies and writing books and going off on fishing trips with the proceeds. So again, thanks. Many thanks. Last Christmas-time in my newsletter, I included the following timely and humorous poem, which was well-received by my e-listers and I thought I'd run it again, since many new people have signed up since then and may not have seen it. Following the poem is a reminder that there is only one week left before Christmas but it's still not too late to order flies and stuff. Skip the commercial, if you wish, but I hope you enjoy the poem. And, again my best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Cheers, Jack PS. There's a new quiz up on the website--www.jackgartside.com--that you might want to take as well as a true Christmas tale that I recently wrote. Check them both out; I hope you enjoy them. ------ T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CADDIS BY RICHARD FRANK T'was the night before Christmas when down by the stream The full moon looked out on a chill winter scene. A lone trout was sipping a midge in his brook, Untroubled by worries of fishers with hooks. Then from above a small sleigh did appear Pulled by a brace of eight tiny reindeer. It swerved of a sudden and down it did glide, Settling its runners along the streamside. The fat, jolly driver dove into his sled And emerged with his three weight held high over head. "Thank you my elves for this wand smooth as silk. This break will be better than cookies and milk." So saying, he jumped from his sleigh with a chuckle, Hiked up his boots and cinched up his belt buckle. Santa meant business that cold winter's eve. A fish he would catch - that you'd better believe. Looking upstream and down, he spotted that trout, Then he open his flybox and took something out - "Size 32 midges are only for faddists I'll go with my favorite tan reindeer caddis." So he cast out his line with a magical ease And his fly floated down just as light as you please. And it drifted drag free down the trout's feeding lane, But the fish merely wiggled a fin of disdain. "Oh Adams, oh Cahill, oh Sulphur, oh Pupa, Oh Hopper, oh Coachman, oh Olive Matuka! I've seen every fly in the book and the box. I'm old and I'm wary and sly as a fox. To catch me you'll need an unusual gift, For a present this common no fin will I lift." Old Nick scratched his head for his time it grew short The reindeer behind him did shuffle and snort. He looked once again in his box for a fly When a pattern compelling attracted his eye. "The Rudolph!" he muttered and grinned ear to ear "Far better to give than receive, so I hear." So he cast once again and his magic was true, And the trout it looked up and knew not what to do. "This fly has a body of bells don't you know, And if that's not enough there's a shining red nose! I know it's fraud and I know it's a fake, But I can't help myself. It's I gift I must take!" So he rose in swirl and captured that thing, Flew off down the stream. Santa's reel it did sing. "Ho!" shouted Santa, "You're making my day. If the heavens were water, you'd be pulling my sleigh." So, Santa prevailed and released his great rival First taking great care to ensure its survival. He then mounted his sled and he flew out of sight Shouting, "Merry Caddis to trout and to all a good night!" HOLIDAYS COMING UP With the holidays just around the corner you might want to consider purchasing some flies or books or maybe a framed fly or other item as a gift for a friend or for yourself. For a full selection of what I have to offer, please check out my website www.jackgartside.com or you might want to consider some of the suggestions below. To order, simply hit the "reply" button and let me know what you're interested in and I'll save it for you. Or you can call me at 617-846-5984 (after 11 a.m. EST). All orders received up until December 21st are pretty sure to get to you in time for Christmas. I'll be sending everything off Priority Mail, which normally takes 2-3 days. And if you order over $50.00 worth of stuff, the shipping is free this week. Otherwise, add $3.50 to your order. Collectible Flies At present I have the following flies available for sale. These flies are all original patterns tied by me and are displayed in a shadow box, with each fly personally hand-sewn into backing and each mounting autographed and numbered. Before I put them up on Ebay or list them with some other source, I'm offering them to my e-listers as an opportunity to add to their collection at a reasonable price. If you're not a collector yourself, you might consider these as a unique holiday or birthday gift. Note: These will go quickly, especially the low-numbered flies. Since I'm only occasionally in the mood to frame flies, there's no telling when others will be made available. If you're interested, email me and I'll reserve your fly or flies. Below are the numbers and prices: #2 Original New Wave Soft Hackle Deceiver $35.00 #2 Original Green & White Bucktail FishHead Streamer $35.00 #1 Original "Secret" Soft Hackle Deceiver $40.00 #3 Original "Secret" Soft Hackle Streamer $35.00 #4 Original Gartside Sparrow & Evening Star $40.00 Special Collector's Sets These are the actual flies that I photographed for the book and as such should have some collector's value (apart from the fact that they're original patterns tied by me). Each set of four will go for a reasonable $35.00 plus $3.50 S&H. I've put together only three sets so far but will add others as time goes by, with different flies offered. Here they are (all autographed and with a COA, too): Set 1 contains: 1 Stray Cat, 1 Filter Fly, 1 Tomahawk Gurgler, and 1 Foam Hopper Set 2 contains: 1 CPF Caddis Emerger, 1 Peacock Angel, 1 Coypu Gurgler, and 1 Gartside Bug Set 3 contains: 1 Elk Hair Termite, 1 Foam Stonefly, and 1 Steelhead Sparrow and 1 Soft Hackle Streamer This is a one-time offer and won't be repeated (remember, these are the actual flies that were photographed for Fly Patterns for the Adventurous Tyer, volume 1) Here are some suggestions: Books The Flyfisherman's Guide to Boston Harbor is now back in print and better than ever. Price: $29.95 plus $3.00 S&H Fly Patterns for the Adventurous Tyer, Fresh Water Patterns. This is my latest book (and best, by far) with a full color cover and hundreds of original fly patterns and photographs inside. Each copy autographed. Only $19.95 plus $3.00 S&H They're going fast so please order soon before I run out and you have to wait until the next print run. Secret Flies for Fresh and Salt Water (Just published) I presently have in stock about forty copies of this book (beautiful color cover, spiral bound). This book contains over a hundred pages of original fly patterns and tying instructions with lots of photographs that will enable the tyer to tie up some of the most unusual and effective flies imaginable using the unique material I call "Gartside's Secret Stuff" (or GSS). Check out the website (www.jackgartside.com) for some examples of what you can do with this material and these methods. Price: only $14.95 (for a limited time only) Also a great gift (or purchase for yourself) is the "Secret Flies Kit." The kit contains 1 copy of Secret Flies, 2 packs of GSS (Gartside's Secret Stuff) plus 1 original Secret Baby Baitfish Fly to serve as a model. You get all this for only $35.00 plus S&H. Such a deal. SALT WATER FLY SELECTIONS 12 Flies for Christmas (Salt Water) Selection Sorry, no partridge in a pear tree this year. Instead you get flies that will catch fish anywhere, including 2 Gartside Gurglers, 2 Soft Hackle Streamers, 2 Soft Hackle Deceivers, 1 Gartside FishHead Streamer, 1 Gartside Sand Eel, 1 BeastMaster General, 1 Slider, 1 Depth-Charger, and 1 Crystal Shrimpie. $50.00 plus $3.00 S&H I have only five of these selections assembled and probably won't have time to make up more so if you're interested, please order soon. They make great gifts for any salt water flyfisherman. Some other selections that I have made up right now and ready to go are: Introductory And All-Around Striper Fly Selection This general selection is especially for those who are just getting into striper fishing and who want a few good flies that will catch fish just about anywhere--for anyone--beginner and expert alike. A great general assortment for all gamefish, as well as stripers and may be used in fresh or salt water. Selection includes: 1 White or Chartreuse Soft Hackle Deceiver, 1 Gartside Sand Eel, 1 weighted Gartside FishHead Streamer, 1 original Gartside Hackle Streamer and 1 original Gartside Gurgler. $ 24.00 plus S&H To view this selection and all others described here, click onto www.jackgartside.com Boston Harbor/New England Fly Selection Five super-effective flies for fishing in Boston Harbor or anywhere in New England. Includes: 1 Soft Hackle Streamer 1 BeastMaster 1 Gartside Gurgler 1 Large Silversides FishHead Bucktail 1 Depth-Chargin' Soft Hackle Deceiver Price: $25.00 plus S&H Expert’s Choice Selection (Great New Selection!) While the flies in this selection will certainly catch lots of fish for the average angler, they can be absolutely deadly when fished by an accomplished angler who can use these flies to their greatest advantage(s). Over the course of a number of years now, these are the flies that have been most often chosen by many expert anglers of my acquaintance as their “go-to” flies. Each selection contains 1 Gartside FishHead Fly,1 BeastMaster, 1 BeastMaster General, 1 Soft Hackle Deceiver, and 1 Gartside Gurgler. All are tied in a practical range of sizes and colors to suggest a wide variety of baitfish. Tied on stainless steel hooks, these flies are effective for all salt and fresh water species. Price Per Selection: $27.00 plus S&H Secret Salt Water Streamer Selection This selection contains patterns I’ve developed in the past few years GSS (Gartside’s Secret Stuff), a unique material that allows me to create some absolutely unique and truly beautiful flies that combine realism and action to tempt even the finickiest fish. Mixed Sizes and Colors. If you've purchased a copy of my book, Secret Flies, this selection would serve admirably for fly tying models. Selection includes: 1 Secret Soft Hackle Streamer, 1 Secret Soft Hackle Deceiver, 1 Secret Baby Baitfish, 1 Secret Sand Eel or Secret Soft Hackle Sand Eel, and 1 Secret Silversides. Price: $29.00 plus S&H New! Florida/Bahamas Bonefish/Permit Selection 2 This unique selection contains six different flies that bonefish and permit are fond of feeding on: crabs, shrimps, worms, and small baitfish. Patterns include 1 Pink & Tan Special, 1 Fuzzhead Worm Fly, 1 Piggyback Bohemian Crab, 1 Pink Fuzzhead Fly, 1 Coq de Leon Bendback Bucktail, and 1 Tan Marabou Bonefish Charlie. Price: $25.00 Worldwide Bonefish Selection (now up on the website) Here's another great selection, perfect for world wanderer. Each selection contains original patterns such as the Peacock Angel, Boner, Bonefish Wiggle Worm, Pink & Tan Special, Veiled Glimmer Fly, Piggyback Bohemian Crab, Small (unweighted) Bohemian Crab, Coypu Puff (great fly!), plus one Bonefish Bucktail or one Marabou or Foxy Bonefish Fly. Ten flies in all. Here are flies large and small, bright and dark, fast-sinking and slow- sinking. All here in one handy assortment of original and unusual bonefish fly patterns. Price: $35.00 plus S&H Bohemian Wiggle Worm Selection Although often overlooked by flyfishermen when considering bait to be imitated, worms--seaworms, clamworms, etc.--often make up a significant portion of a fish’s diet wherever they are found, most often in shallow water, mud flats or in estuaries. When found in numbers, stripers and tarpon--to name two popular gamefish--will often feed almost exclusively on these worms.It’s important therefore to have a selection of these “meaty” wiggling worm flies in your angling arsenal. This selection equips you to fish effectively for these “wormers” in a wide variety of ways: on the surface with a Gurgler or Slider, just under or at medium depths with the Bohemian Wiggle Worm, and down on the bottom with the fast-sinking Wiggle Worms. Selection of 6 flies includes 2 Bohemian Wiggle Worms (dark and light), 2 fast-sinking Depth-chargin’ Wiggle Worms (dark and light), 1 Wiggle Worm Gurgler and 1 Wiggle Worm Slider. Tied in Sizes #2 and #1. Price: $24.00 plus S&H Chatham/Monomoy Selection 2 This fine all-around selection builds upon and expands the range of flies offered in Selection I and is ideal for fishing Chatham and Monomoy and many other shallow flats areas where the bottom is light sand and the baitfish and other available foods are noticeably lighter in shadings and where the stripers are often more selective. Each selection of five flies includes:1 White or White/Chartreuse Soft Hackle Deceiver, 1 White/Chartreuse Depth-Charger Soft Hackle Deceiver, 1 Depth-Charger Soft Hackle Streamer, 1 Light Gartside Crab Fly, and 1 Gartside Gurgler. Price: $25.00 plus S&H Price: $23.00 plus S&H Martha's Vineyard Selection 2 This selection builds upon and expands the range of effective flies offered in Selection 1. An excellent all-around selection of flies for fishing Martha's Vineyard throughout the season. Selection of five flies includes: 1 White Gartside Gurgler, 1 White/Olive Depth-Charger Soft Hackle Deceiver, 1 Chartreuse or White/Chartreuse Depth-Charger Soft Hackle Streamer, 1 Secret Baby Baitfish Bonito/Albie Fly, and 1 Gartside Corsair Sand Eel. Price: $25.00 plus S&H Cape Cod & the Islands Selection 2 This selection builds upon and expands the range of effective flies offered in Selection 1. An excellent all-around selection of flies for fishing Cape Cod and the Islands throughout the season. Each selection of five flies includes: 1 Gartside New Wave Soft Hackle Streamer, 1 Chartreuse or Chartreuse/White Depth-Charger Soft Hackle Deceiver, 1 White or Yellow Gartside Gurgler, 1 Gartside Corsair Sand Eel, and 1 Chartreuse/White BeastMaster. Price: $24.00 plus $3.00 S&H Special Tarpon Selection This selection is for the adventurous tarpon fisherman, one who appreciates an unusual approach to tarpon fly design and to fishing. These are the flies I personally use for much of my tarpon fishing. Each selection includes 1 Tarpon Bunny,1 New Wave Red/Yellow Soft Hackle Streamer, 1 original Gartside Floating Crab, 1 Original Tarpon Minnow, plus 1 Tarpon Bugger (this variation of a simple and familiar fly is one of the most surprisingly effective flies you could ever use when tarpon are feeding on shrimp or on small crabs). Five tarpon flies in each selection. Price: $24.00 Small Tarpon/Snook Selection 2 This selection is so new it's not even up on the website yet. Selection contains an assortment of some of my favorite flies for baby tarpon and snook (and other fish as well). Tied smaller than is usually recommended, they were used most recently, however, with wild success on my most recent (December) trip to Tortola and the BVI. Each selection contains: 1 White Soft Hackle Streamer, 1 Secret Baby Baitfish, 1 Fuzzhead Wiggle Worm (great for palolo worm hatch) , 1 Orange Tarpon Bunny and 1 Tarpon/Snook Gurgler. Price: $24.00 plus S&H Redfish/Sea Trout Selection This selection of unusual redfish and sea trout flies contains 2 Redfish Gurglers (redfish love ‘em even better than poppers), 1 Soft Hackle Streamer, 1 Floating Crab (fish this on the surface or just under), 1 “Secret” Baby Baitfish, and 2 Crystal Shrimp. Whether you fish in the mangroves, on the flats, or on the beach,redfish and sea trout are sure to love these flies. All original patterns. Price: $23.00 plus S&H -------- FRESH WATER FLY SELECTIONS All-Around Trout Fly Selection This selection contains a wide variety of trout flies:dry flies, wet flies, nymphs, and even a Soft Hackle Streamer. With these flies you can fish anywhere in the world, throughout the season, and catch trout. A great selection for beginner and expert alike. Because these are all original patterns, these flies may also serve as models for the fly tyer. Each selection contains the following flies (1 each): Gartside Foam Hopper, Gartside Bug, Gartside Sparrow, Soft Hackle Streamer, CPF Caddis/Mayfly Emerger , Ringneck Soft Hackle Wet Fly, Firefly Caddis, CPF or Elk Hair Ant, Loco Beetle, and one Firefly May Fly. Ten flies in all. Price: $28.00 (Usually $30.00) plus $3.50 S&H Special Brook Trout Selection (New!) This unique selection contains ten flies that have unusual appeal for brook trout. Whether you fish in ponds, lakes or rivers, these lovely flies are sure to tempt the brookies--and many other fresh water gamefish as well. Included in this selection are: 2 Trout Gurglers (one larger, one smaller), 2 Soft Hackle Streamers, 2 Wooly Buggers, 2 Original Gartside Bugs, 1 Gartside Sparrow, and 1 Bohemian Wiggle Worm Fly. Price: $27.00 plus S&H Steelhead/Salmon Selection 2 This selection contains 3 steelhead/salmon Sparrows, 1 "Happy" Salmon/Steelhead Gurgler,1 fast-sinking Gray Fox Hairwing, and 1 Red & White (or Black) Depth-Charger Soft Hackle Streamer. Great flies for great fish. All flies tied on super-sharp Daiichi salmon/steelhead hooks in a mix of sizes, # 2 and # 4. Price: $20.00 plus S&H Lucky 7 Great Lakes Steelhead/Salmon Selection (now up on the website) Here's a unique selection of seven salmon an steelhead flies tied especially for the Great Lakes and their tributaries. But, really, they will catch fish anywhere, East or West--or anywhere in between. This selection includes: 2 "Secret" Mysis Shrimp, 2 Steelhead Sparrows, 2 Soft Hackle Steelhead/Salmon Streamers, and 1 White Rabbit Depth-Chargin' Steelhead Streamer. Price: $23.00 plus S&H Largemouth/Smallmouth Bass Selection 3 This selection rounds out Selections 1 and 2, containing flies of generally lighter colors than in the other selections as well as two fast-sinking streamers, original fly patterns all and sure to please even the finickiest bass. A great selection for the bass fisherman! Selection contains: 1 small Bass Gurgler, 1 larger Soft hackle Bass Gurgler, 1 yellow Depth Chargin' Soft Hackle Deceiver, 1 Depth Chargin' Soft Hackle Streamer, 1 original Gartside Bug, and 1 Bohemian Wiggle Worm Price: $24.00 plus S&H Terrestrial & Bug Selection East or West, these original patterns really come into their own when the water is low and the hatches are rather sparse.Each selection includes a variety of useful and very effective patterns plus three fish-catching "bugs." Great for trout and smallmouth bass and for any fish that swims. Each selection contains: 1 original Gartside Pheasant Hopper,1 Gartside Hi-Vis Foam Hopper, 2 Elk Hair Ants, 1 Lollipop Bug, 1 "Secret" Foam Beetle and 2 original Gartside Bugs, one large, one small. Price: $28.00 plus S&H Wooly Bugger/Sparrow Selection (New Selection!) Included in this selection are ten great subsurface flies; five Wooly Buggers (including one new Bohemian Wooly Bugger) and five Sparrows. Tied in a fish-catching assortment of sizes and colors. Try one of these on your favorite stretch of water.Guaranteed to catch fish anywhere. Price: $28.00 plus S&H Kidz Selection (Got Kidz?) Here’s a selection of flies tied especially for kids (of all ages). These are “fun” flies, tied in a variety of unusual colors designed to appeal not only to young anglers (or the young-at-heart) but also to the fish they enjoy catching. Each selection includes 2 small Gurglers, 2 Gartside Bugs, 1 Wooly Bugger and 1 Wiggle Worm (six flies in all) Price: $20.00 plus S&H These selections would make great gifts for either yourself or a fishing buddy this coming holiday season. And now's the time to buy; I'm anticipating in the coming months a long overdue price rise for most of the selections and flies that I offer. So get them while the getting's good. If you're interested in any of the above and want to reserve one or two, hit the "reply" button and email me back letting me know what you want and I'll be sure to put some aside for you. An idea: Copy this newsletter and circle the items you're interested in and pass it on to someone who might be searching for gift ideas. This often works. Gift Certificates Gift Certificates are also available in any amount you might have in mind: from $20-$150.00 If interested, please let me know and I'll personalize one for you or your intended recipient. Well, that's it for now. I've got to get back to the tying bench and start filling orders. Wishing you a happy holiday season. Cheers, Jack If you have any friends who might be interested in receiving this newsletter, please feel free to forward it on to them. Or simply send me their email addresses and I'll add them to my mailing list. ------- If for some reason you've received my newsletter through error and you'd like to be removed from my email list, simply type "remove" up in the subject header, hit "reply," and I'll remove you immediately. This newsletter comes to you directly from Jack Gartside, 14 Beach Road, Winthrop, MA 02152 Tel: 617-846-5984 Catch something at www.jackgartside.com Note: To be removed from this list, go to the URL above, enter your email address in the Mailing List form and select the Unsubscribe option.
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